I'm Not Drunk, I'm Just A Little Buzzed
by Brovaries
Summary: Someone professes his love while he's completely stoned. : BBxRae oneshot. AU. Read and Review!


Well hello there. I was bored and feeling humorous so this is was spurted out of my writer's block. I have a couple chapters on my computer for When Time Freezes, but I'd like someone to go over them. Anyone up for it?

Well anyway, I hope you enjoy this. I liked this one! :)

_Disclaimer: I don't own TT. Or any copyrighted things in here like Sony._

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**I'm Not Drunk, I'm Just A Little Buzzed**

You see, there was a reason twenty-two year old Rachel Roth was sitting on the carpet of her living room, scooping mouthfuls of Oreo ice cream out of a huge tub.

There was also a reason why she was watching a sappy soap opera in which the main character dies from blunt force to the head.

And, there was even a reason why she was all alone trying her best not to think of anything but brainfreezes and the sticky power button on the Sony remote.

The reason why all of this strange behavior was occurring was because the only man she ever cared for had just declared his love for her exactly twelve hours ago. No matter how hard she focused on the pecs of that male swimmer on the underwear commercial, Garfield's words kept rushing in and out of her mind.

"_Hey Rae...baby....hottie...I'm soo bored right now. What about you head on over to my place and we could play around ha...I miss you...by the way I'm not drunk if that's what you're thinking. I just had a couple finks and I think you're beautiful. I love you. Do you love me?"_

She rolled her eyes at his claim of not being drunk when she had been drunken enough herself to know how to slur. She ran a hand through her hair and unwillingly recollected the past. She had been in her bedroom when a knock bounced against the door. It was Garfield.

"_Garfield?"_

_He grinned and toppled over her. "Heller," he greeted. Garfield wobbled forward and hooked his arms around her waist while she tried to steady him with placing her delicate hands on his shoulders._

"_Where have you been?" she wondered angrily._

"_Two words Rae-" He held up four fingers. "PAR-TAY."_

_She walked him over to the couch and readied herself for the stern lecture she was ready to give him. "Sit," she ordered._

"_I like it when you order me around. It's s-sexy," he slurred. Garfield collapsed onto the couch and his eyes fluttered directly to her chest. "Double D's," he murmured to himself. Rachel narrowed her eyes and placed a hand over her blouse with four unbuttoned pins._

"_Excuse me?"_

"_I fink you should stake that off," Garfield lifted his hand to her shirt and was replied with a harsh slap to the cheek. He landed on the floor with his head on the carpet. She noticed her blush deepen when he began to giggle like a small child._

"_Ohh you wanna play rough? I'm soo good at that. But first you have to let me take your clothespins off," he mumbled, laying on the floor. Rachel shook her head at his audacity and couldn't help but smile at how weak he was. _

"_You could hell me up. I'm sorta on the ground and my face hurts."_

_She began to laugh to herself. "You are drunk, Garfield Logan."_

_He was helped up by Rachel and using the wall as balance. "I'm snot drunk. I'm hammered, tipsy, wasted, ebrelated-"_

"_Ebrelated?" Rachel wasn't sure that was a word._

"_Mm-hmm. It means buzzed."_

_His head was beginning to sway forward. "I think you mean inebriat-"_

"_Wow, you are boot-boot-bootiful tonight." Garfield stepped forward and collided his lips with hers. Just when Rachel's eyes widened from his confidence, she found his hands roaming her back. Rachel's brain pleaded her to pull away and send him to bed but she instinctively ran her hand through his soft hair. The kiss possibly couldn't have ended if not for the fact that they collided onto the floor. _

"_Ooof."_

_Rachel cleared her throat and helped him up. _

"_Look Rae, I'm wearing lipstick!" Garfield smiled a toothy grin when he caught his reflection in the hall mirror. _

"_That's mine," she snapped. _

"_Must've smeared off when we kissed, which by the way was awesome. Wanna get a drink? Maybe we could have a beer too!" Garfield slurred, holding her hand._

"_NO." _

_He threw his head back and chuckled. "You can't play hard to get anymore, cutiepie," he tapped her nose. "First comes love, then comes the baby in the coffin, and the marriage with the carriage, and some sex-"_

_She grabbed his hands and lead him to his room. "Listen to me," she screeched in a low tone._

"_No, I don't have to pee," he answered with a confused look._

_Rachel shook her head. Okay, this was it. She was NEVER again going to deal with a drunk, ADHD twenty-four year old Garfield Logan. Garfield fell onto his bed and his eyelids began to droop. "Wanna join me? I'm lonely."_

"_Shut up and sleep."_

"_I love you baby. Forever and ever and ever and ever and even when you call me GAR-FAILED instead of...Garfield."_

_She licked her lips. "What?" she asked softly._

"_I love you. More than anything. Are we gonna get married?"_

"_Are you going to be a good husband?" she rolled her eyes and decided to play along.  
_

"_Yeppers. I'll be the best husband in the world."_

So that was her day. She decided to stand up and wash the leftover dishes when the end credits rolled onto the screen.

"Rae?"

She turned her head to face a masculine voice.

"Mornin'," Garfield was completely refreshed and sober. She realized this when he smiled at her genuinely and walked in the room smelling like baby powder and Axe.

"Good morning."

He plopped on the couch and pulled her down. "I just had the best shower ever!"

"Thank you for sharing that with me."

Garfield laughed and stroked the palm of her hand. "No prob. What happened last night?"

Rachel cocked her head to the side. "You don't remember?"

"Nope. I know I was buzzed and we made out 'cause I found your lipstick on my face this morning..."

She blushed. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. Were you drunk too?"

Oh God. "No."

"No?" his eyes widened. "I'm hot even when I reek of alcohol? Cool," he smirked.

"You realize you could have gotten alcohol poisoning, gotten raped, died, or--"

"Chill! I'm alive, aren't I?"

And THIS was the reason Rachel could never get close to this man. He couldn't take life seriously. Everything was fun and games to him! How could he be so juvenile and obnoxious and still be compassionate and mature?

"Why is everything a joke to you?" she snapped. He snaked his hand tighter around hers while her body turned frigid.

"W-What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" she yelled. "You're a complete idiot! You come here drunk, kiss me, talk about getting married and dead babies, and say you love me! How can you-"

"I said I loved you?" he wondered.

Silence eased its way between them. "Yes."

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that especially since-"

"It doesn't matter anymore. Forget it," she officially gave up the argument and felt the need to take a warm bath.

"No. It _does_ matter, Rae."

"No, it does NOT."

"Yes, it does!"

She stood up and recoiled from his grasp to walk to her bedroom.

"I love you," he murmured. She turned around. "You don't have to say that because you feel bad-"

"No," he interrupted. "I'm saying this 'cause I mean it. I've never said this to any other girl 'cause I haven't loved any other girl 'cept you. Rachel Roth, I think you're absolutely beautiful and smart...I love you."

She felt tears well up in her eyes. "No you don't."

"Goddamnit." Garfield walked over to her and gave her a passionate kiss. Her lips ached for more of his touch as soon as he began to speak again.

"I love you," he repeated. "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. It's true."

She slipped her delicate hand into his calloused one. She could tell that he was being sincere. His eyes were gentle, his tone was soft and lacking a hint of humor. Garfield loved her. He _loved her._ Rachel gulped and stared down at the carpet.

"I think I love you," she replied. He grinned.

"I think you love me too."

Rachel kissed his stubbly chin and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't you ever come home to me drunk ever again!" she ordered.

"Have I ever told you that you're hot when you order me around?" he smiled.

"You've mentioned it once or twice..."

"So you wanna go get drunk?" he teased.

Rachel thumped his shoulder, emitting an 'oof' from him.

"Don't be an ass."

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**You're going to review, right? :) I hope his drunkenness made you laugh. (Kids, don't drink! And don't drink and drive!)**


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